One Last Post for the Day

My husband has lost his little mind....he went for a sleep study and had the technician take pictures of him!! He's so excited that he now "gets to" wear a mask to help with his sleeping. I suppose listening to the machine will be an improvement over listening to his snoring, but I'm not so sure about it. Tabb also picked up a case of impetigo while at the sleep study. I find it interesting that the impetigo is located on the same locations of the straps from the sleep mask that was fitted on him during the study. Tabb said it isn't possible since the mask was in a sealed/sterile package. I suspect however, that the sterile package was not so sterile! Either way....he's got a pretty yucky (non medical term) case of crud on his face. Poor little thing!!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! This was my year to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Not too bad....being with the preemies puts perspective on what's truly important. I love and appreciate my family for being so supportive. My coworker - Jane, worked a few hours for me Christmas morning so I could be with the family. That's a huge sacrifice! That's the kind of people I work with. Christmas Eve was absolutely beautiful. The Larkin Family invited us for dinner. I wasn't able to arrive until 8 pm - and they held dinner for me. It was such a beautiful evening....Sis. Larkin made the most incredible feast. The elder's came over and sung Christmas carols and after the elder's left, we watched Celtic Women on a huge TV screen. Honestly speaking....it was the first night in a very long, long time that I felt at peace. Every worry seemed to disappear.

Today has been amazing....most of the kids are here. The kids are getting ready to light our outdoor fire pit and sit outside.....crazy. There's a serious snowball fight occurring as I write this blog between the elder's and the kids. How fun!!!

Also...it's the first Christmas with grand babies!!!!!

Mama Bear is on the Loose Again

First...thank you Ana E. Katie, and Keeks for blogging all your thoughts and feelings in such an open way. I get alot from reading your posts and I have come to realize that it's okay to be straight forward (with humor from time to time). Ana has posted some incredibly difficult moments when her babies were hospitalized. When their family was going through that crisis, I didn't realize that I would later be in a situation that seemed to last forever and with very real worries that my child might not survive. With Melissa's fifth hospitalization this year in process, I've got to admit that from time to time I want someone to step in and make decisions for a change. But then something happens and I swing full throttle into mother bear mode. No one knows my daughter better than me (sorry Tabb), except Heavenly Father. Melissa shares with me some of the most tender, difficult, silly, and amazing thoughts. I feel like I'm the protector of her feelings and of her health. When your child is hospitalized, you and the child lose alot of your control. Other people step in who have policies, procedures, and education as the main tools in their box of healing. I've got faith, love, experience, education, and tenacity in my box. Health care teams need to learn that unless it's an immediate threat to safety....bring the parents in on decision making before implementing a change in care. Ask the parents if they can attend rounds. I HATE getting a phone call after rounds and hearing that something has been done before talking to us, the parents. I need to be the one holding her hand when something difficult is discussed...not some doctor or nurse who can't begin to understand her. So her treatment team now knows just how tenacious this Momma bear is and I'll protect my cubs with my life! A little melodramatic, but watch out....because it's true!!!!

Reality Check

Gosh...I'm sorry for writing down sad thoughts.....sometimes this journey with Melissa "wears me down." No excuse....she needs me to "guts up" and be my normal determined self. Tabb knew I had been struggling the last few days and left a talk for me to read by David Bednar, an apostle from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The talk is titled, "In the Strength of the Lord."

Regarding the persecution of Alma's people by Amulon: "And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." (Mosiah 24).

Elder Bednar continues by stating, "It was not the burden that changed, the challenges and difficulties of persecution were not immediately removed from the people. But Alma and his followers were strengthened, and their increased capacity and strength made the burdens they bore lighter. These good people were empowered through the Atonement to act as agents and impact their circumstances---"in the strength of the Lord."

Finally, he writes, "The enabling power of the Atonement of Christ strengthens us to do things we could never do on our own."

Catching Up

It's been a busy few days. Melissa turned 12, Brian came home for Thanksgiving, and we went to the Raleigh Christmas Parade. I can't believe we went to the parade again. Each year, I promise I won't again (although it's always fun). I just dread the cold and not being able to drink hot chocolate (because there's only porta potties). My favorite part of the parade is these really fun dancers - hopefully you can see from the pictures that they put on a fun show!! I'm looking so forward to being home Thanksgiving Day through Sunday - 4 days off in a row....how wonderful! We will slowly begin to decorate for Christmas. This year, I'm not putting out a lot of Christmas decorations. I only plan on putting up 2 trees, a few candles around the house, a nice table cloth, and icicle lights outside. I took all the pictures off the wall of my Den, painted, and cleaned the carpet.....it's such a good feeling to not see "stuff" everywhere. We'll see how long my "minimalist mentality" lasts! I'll save my list of gratitudes for Thursday, but I'll start with one...."I'm grateful for the blessing of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.....it is a miracle in this day and time to KNOW without a doubt that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that our families can be together forever.

Enjoy the photos....I'm already praying for snow this year......but only enough to enjoy.....Nurses still have to go to work regardless of the weather!!

Black Friday

Can you tell I'm home this morning, sick as a dog, and lonely!! Thought I'd share a few photos from this morning and mention something Katie asked me last night: "Mom...are we going to do anything special on Black Friday?" I was kind of surprised by her question and said..."no ...maybe a little shopping." She then said "we're supposed to do something special...that's MY holiday." Now I got it....she thought Black Friday was a special African Amercian holiday!!! Too cute!!!

Happy 12th Birthday Melissa

How exciting...we have a "Young Woman" in the house!! Last night the Young Women's organization had a special welcome party for all of the girls getting ready to advance to the group. It was so much fun....the girls are all so close. Melissa had a great time playing some crazy game where the players chant "bunny, bunny, toogie, toogie"...or something like that. I couldn't keep up with what they were doing, but it was a lot of fun. We're so excited to begin this special year with her. It was through the influence of a dear friend, Diane, who introduced me to the Church at an age not much older than Melissa. It forever changed my life and gave me so many blessings.

Melissa had a special request for her birthday....today's menu includes pot roast, mashed potatoes, peas, yeast rolls, chocolate cake with chocolate icing and chocolate chip ice cream. Yikes!!! Best get cooking!!

Enjoy the photos....Katie had a ball last night at Activity Day girls making a nativity set....she has such a creative leader....thanks Sis. Ralph!! Nicolas has advanced to the office of "Teacher." Brian is doing fantastic in school. Cory has never had a better year of school as well. Pretty cool!!

Hard to Read...caution!!

Have you ever assumed something and then found that you were way off base in your assumption? This past week was particularly trying. We have been running an emotional, physical, and spiritual race since January.....I've never run in a marathon before, but I can truly say now that I have! I'm so humbled to be a mother and to realize what is required to "run beside your children" as they go through life's trials. I always thought that the role of a parent is to stand in front of your child and protect them from the things that could really hurt them. There are those things that you know are best for them to experience and be accountable for and there are other things that you would throw yourself under a bus to protect them from experiencing. So, I find myself with the great desire to take on my child's pain and suffering and all I can do is stand beside her as she endures what has been the most awful of trials. This past week she told me, "Mom ...please help....I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymore." "Oh, yes you can," was my reply and I hugged her tightly. I got a smile from her and an "I love you mommy." Yes, my child still calls me mommy....and I love it! So the marathon continues .... and we just need to focus on finding joy in all the blessings we have in our lives. Now..back to the first question about making assumptions. I kind of diverted the post because I wanted to relay how hard this week was for us (many things can't be posted, but you can assume it was a pretty intense week). At the end of the week, I was getting ready to leave work. I was so physically and emotionally tired that I felt like I had the flu....achy, sick to my stomach, etc. My whole body hurt. As I went to leave the Unit, a nurse said to me...."do you have a minute?" I smiled at her, said "sure," and sat down beside her while she was feeding a baby. Her next comment was "I don't want you to take this the wrong way....." Well...that's an opening line that made my stomach tighten even more. My first thought was "I've probably not done something she needed me to do...I'm not good at anything anymore....etc." I couldn't have been more wrong! She told me that she and her family had been thinking alot about doing something special for my family this Christmas. This wonderful, kind friend then said, "I want to work Christmas Day for you. You need to be with your family this year." I was stunned! I'm scheduled to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - 12 hours each day. We both sat there with tears running down our faces....I could hardly speak. I had worried so much about missing both Christmas and Christmas eve and how that would affect the children this year of all years. However...it is my turn to work both holidays. I haven't accepted my friend's offer yet, but I'm truly grateful to have people surrounding our family who have shared the burden we are carrying. So the moral of my story is that the Lord is very mindful of the weight of our burdens. Don't assume that just because something is really hard to endure that you can't find wonderful things to appreciate.

*I got up this morning at 6 am and went to the grocery store....here's a few photos of the beautiful trees in our neighborhood.....I love being up early!!

A Year Ago Today

This time last year I was visiting my mother and step-father in Fernley Nevada. We had such a good time. The desert is so beautiful....I loved seeing the sun come up over the mountains. It was equally as beautiful at night when the setting sun cast shadows on the mountains. You could see for miles and miles....it's a different type of beauty than the pine trees of NC, but beautiful all the same. Tonight we'll follow the counsel of our Bishop and not trick-or-treat. We'll keep the Sabbath day holy. So....tonight, we plan on sitting around our fire, eating hot dogs, potato salad, and apple cobbler. *I haven't missed a Halloween sitting outside since we were first married....it's tradition!!!

Sleepover at Granddaddy's and Grandma's

Our sweet granddaughter, Kylie, spent the night last night. What a good girl!! She had her first Cream Tuna casserole for dinner last night and loved it!! The family tradition lives on!!! Bedtime was a bit rough, but she usually fusses for about 15 minutes before giving into sleep. Those long 15 minutes remind me of how wonderful it is to be a grandmother and realize "I don't have to deal with it every day!" What can Kylie do developmentally: Stand up while holding onto a table, clap, say "dada, nummie, kitty," rapidly crawl, soothe herself to sleep. She's eating most foods that are soft textures. Her little personality is so sweet...she loves to be held and loves to play. What a doll baby! I'm grateful to have her and her wonderful Mommy living so close by. It's a great blessing!!! Once Brian is done with school, he'll have more time to spend with Kylie - she is so much his "clone."

Enjoy the photos.

Ward Trunk Or Treat

All the kids and grandkids came to our Ward activity last night (except for Brian who is busy at school). Having the grandbabies there for their first Halloween was so much fun!! Abigail's "Nana" also joined us. I didn't eat once piece of candy! How's that for self control!!! Loved Bro. Ellie's Star Trek costume. Loved the members who handed out hotdogs instead of candy. There was a little too much chaos in the building, but that's pretty normal. It was the humidity that wore me down. Where did that come from??? Our grandaughter Kylie went back to our house after the event and spent some cuddle time with Granddaddy and Grandma. She's getting so big.

Spectacular Day

I'm counting our blessings.....for friends from Church that go the extra mile to love my children and create such fun activities, for medicines that are beginning to work and give my daughter some very needed relief, for my children that love and support each other, for sweet granddaughters, for this beautiful Fall weather and the colors of the season, for a math tutor who helped me remove the cob webs from my brain, for my dear husband who finally realized that being outside is actually relaxing. Enjoy the photos!

Mr. Turkey

Alas...he's on his way to the dinner table! First turkey of the season...got a really good deal at Harris Teeter. He'll be the main guest at our dinner table for the next few days!! *Today is one of those days where the weather is overcast and cool...the children are all at school....need I say more!!

Camping in the Burb's

Tabb bought me a fire pit!! I've been wanting one for years. So tonight we sat outside, cooked hot dogs, roasted marshmallows, and ate somore's. The weather was chilly enough and it was just perfect for sitting by the fire. Thank you Scarlett for playing with Katie today!!

Cory Q. Urkle

Oh to be a teenager again :)

Cake Boss - Yes!!!

I posted a few weeks ago my lame attempt at making a homemade boston creme cake....what a total disaster. But I HAVE REDEEMED MYSELF. Thank you Linda W. for the delicious recipe. I hope all of you reading this blog, give the cake a try.....yum!!! The beautiful flowers in the background are from my wonderful boss, Susan. She was thanking me for organizing the NICU Reunion. I should be giving her flowers for giving me the opportunity to do something so rewarding!

Butter Pecan Pound Cake

1/4 cup (powdered sugar - optional and I didn't use)

1/4 cup chopped pecans

1 box Butter Pecan cake mix

3/4 cup oil

4 eggs

1 cup water

1 can coconut and pecan icing

Grease pan with cooking spray and sprinkle with powdered sugar. Sprinkle pecans in bottom of pan. Combine cake mix, eggs, oil and water. Mix 2 minutes or until smooth. Add icing to batter, mix well and pour into pan on top of pecans. Bake @ 350 degrees for 55 minute or until brown. *I used a bundt pan.